I came across this study on my yahoo homepage and I don't believe a word of it and I'll explain why.
OK, lets start out by me saying I am one of those statistics that should be in a study like this to prove them all wrong. I was 16 when I had my first son and the relationship that I had with the boy didn't work out, because he didn't want to grow up. He wanted to party, party, and party, instead of raising a child. So, I told him to hit the road, when my son was 2 1/2 months old. That very same day (6/17/73) I went to my friend's graduation party from high school and that is where Chuck and I started talking. You see, I met Chuck a few weeks earlier at his house in Raubsville, but he thought I was married at the time because I had a baby and all I did was talk about his father. When he saw me at his cousin's party I explained my situation about my breakup and that my EX was coming to the party. I told Chuck when he arrives I want to go for a walk. I said you may join me or you can stay here at the party. He decided to come with me on my walk and we talked and talked. Chuck was so easy to talk to it was like we knew each other for years.
That night all us young people decided to go bowling and of course my EX came too. Well, my EX had no money, so I gave him what money I had, so he could bowl and eat with the rest of us. Chuck asked me my why I did that and I told him I may not want to be with him anymore, but I feel sorry for him because he has a very bad home life. When it came to us going to McDonald's to get something to eat after bowling I wan't going to eat because I gave all my money to my EX. Chuck was kind enough to make me eat by buying me a sandwhich and a drink.
Chuck and I were inseperable for the 3 months we went together, before he proposed to me at the end of August. We planned a wedding in a few weeks and were married at the end of September of '73.
A month after we were married I started not feeling well, so I went to the family doctor and had some tests run. We found out shortly there after that I was going to have another baby. Our son was born in June of '74. We were married only 9 months when we had 2 kids to raise.
At that time of our life starting out we were both smokers. When I was 25, I started having throat problems. I was hoarse by the end of the day and that went on for a few months, when Chuck made me go to the throat doctor. He turned around and told me I had to quit smoking or I wasn't going to be able to talk anymore. So, I quit smoking. Chuck still smoked and he is still smoking today.
Chuck and I have had our ups and downs when it comes to money, just like everyone else these days. During the course of our marriage he was unemployed 2 times, in 1983 and 2007. Plus, I came from a DIVORCED family. My mom and dad seperated when I was 2 1/2 years old and I was raised by my mother. My brother and I hardly ever saw my dad, until I was a teenager, then he wanted to start a relationship with us, which was way too late.
Now, if you read this study that they have done, we should have been DIVORCED a long time ago. With my life how it was before I even got married I had many strikes against me going into a marriage. I really would like to know who does these studies, and on who they do these studies on, because I don't believe any of them.
I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT YOUR OPINION IS ON THIS STUDY AND WHAT I TOLD YOU OF MY LIFE. I can tell you that Chuck and I are very happy with our marriage and with our life. It may not have been what we would have wanted, but it is what God has chosen for our life together as one.
- Sue
- Wilson Borough, Pennsylvania, United States
- My world consists of my boys and their women in their lives. My grandchildren, who bring such joy to my life. My pets, who I adore very much and love watching them interact with each other. My hubby, Chuck, and his passion, Stampede Band. Plus, any ramblings I want to do. So, I hope you enjoy your visit into "My World" through my eyes.
4 comments:
Sue, that was really interesting reading about you & Chuck getting together. As for those studies, I agree with you, things don't always work out as the studies indicate they should. I have a question for you though, let me quote your words,
"I can tell you that Chuck and I are very happy with our marriage and with our life. It may not have been what we would have wanted, but it is what God has chosen for our life together as one."
I didn't understand why you wrote that it wouldn't have been what you wanted. I know life doesn't always work out like we want or expect and there are many surprises in store for us, sometimes the surprises are good, and sometimes not so good. But your words sort of contradict each other.
This is a comment from my friend Niki from church.
Sue you do have to remember that these are statistics and yours as well as many others are very unique. Sometimes it is the personality of a person(s) that makes a difference. For example I am the type of woman that does not put up with crap and the stuff my motherinlaw puts up with from my father in law i would never put up with. She is one of those statistics like you it should have failed. The statistic that was not monitored in these studies but has been taken into account in other studies is how finacially well off the couples are. Other studies have shown those less well off to begin with have a tendency to stay together longer. It is like you started at the bottom and the only way to go was up. I understand and was a part of similar studies in college. You have to remember that they randomly select a group and start research so in areas like this they are just posting results of studies not and stating their conclusions based on data. I will say this though through out my lifetime this study has shown to be true but there are less and less people out there like me and you who love others before themselves even in a relationship and that has a lot to do with why you stay with someone longer despite all that you have going against you. You must remember many people get divorced and still love their ex but just get along better when they are not together
nicki
OK, Alanna, let me explain what I'm trying to say here.
I would have wanted a life that was a little more easier, but I know God puts things in our life so that we may learn from it. But all-in-all my life in a whole I can say we are happy.
Every couple strives to make things as easy as possible, and we want things to be so perfect, that when God does put things in our life to throw us a curve, some people rather give up, than work at happiness. DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE? I know what I'm thinking, but it is hard to put into words to explain what I mean.
I know what you mean now Sue, ty for the explanation.
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